Find out what this brief quiz reveals about you.
1. What do you say when a cashier asks if you’d like help carrying heavy stuff to the car?
a. Oh yes, thank you!
b. No thanks; I’m fine.
2. How likely are you to call a friend when you are feeling down?
a. Very likely
b. Not very likely
c. I’ll do it just after hell freezes over
3. How do you react when a colleague offers to do...
Your life is what you created it to be. Being "too busy” is a fabulous excuse for avoiding making choices. If you often find yourself saying, “I’m too busy,” you might take a look at how your daily choices line up with what is truly important to you.
How you spend your time IS the quality of your life.
I have come to see excessive busyness as clutter in the time department. We know the benefits of de-cluttering living space to create more energy and flow in...
It's the day before school begins and you are tucking your ten-year-old into bed. You ask, "What do you want fifth grade to be like?" You take the time to really listen. Then you ask "How will you help make that come true? and "How would you like us (the family) to help you?"
You and two colleagues are beginning a new project at work. You start to create a list of tasks but then stop and say, "Wait a minute. What is really important about what we are creating here?" And "How do we...
Falling in love is so wonderful. The future is bright, the present is delicious, and pleasing one another is effortless. Our dreams have been answered and we believe this feeling will last forever. By the time a couple has been married a year or two, however, the state has usually worn off. The “walking-on-air in-love” feeling is a stage, and, to our dismay, it expires. Most couples experience disappointment and puzzlement as they emerge. What’s going on? Why does life together suddenly seem...
Last weekend I drove to Donora, PA for my first competitive performance in artistic roller skating in singles dance. For the previous six months I had focused seriously on my skating with lessons twice a week and practice three days a week. I acquired the sparkly costume with the little skirt.
My event was in the last hour of the 3-day competition so I had three days to watch other skaters perform, to get familiar with the rink, and to visualize my dances. And when my moment...
When leading my yoga students in a stretch called forward bend, I remind them (and myself) to do the pose “neither forcing nor holding back.” This solid advice for stretching muscles turns out to be exactly what’s called for in so many areas of life. Neither forcing nor holding back works for our sports, our relationships, our business affairs, and for just about anything worth doing. It is the place where personal will and environment are in synch. It is the place where we get real...
Think about your responsibilities. Do they feel light or weighty? Do they energize you or sap your energy? Some people carry tremendous responsibilities effortlessly. What is their secret? How does one carry responsibility without being weighed down by it? Let’s look at how to be responsible and at peace.
Consider the difference between being responsible to and responsible for. Being responsible to someone means being honest and fair. Being...
I established rules for my life one day when I was about five years old. I was playing with my older brother Jim, horsing around on the living room floor.
Jim grabs me by the arm and won't let go. I try to pull away with all my strength but can't escape his grip. I try to pry off his fingers; no luck. So I... let out... a SCREAM! It's the loudest, most terrifying scream you can imagine. I hope he will be scared off. I just want to be free! But no, now he's dragging me across the...
Perhaps you share presents with your partner on birthdays and holidays. Fabulous! Consider another kind of gift as well; the kind of gift that has an ongoing impact on the bond you share. Beware however! These could cost you a softening of the ego.
1. The gift of respect even when you don't understand his or her thinking.
2. The gift of learning about what is...
You want to know what it is? It's very simple. The top mistake couples make is competing over who is right and who is wrong. It is so crazy and so prevalent that Jerry Seinfeld created a TV show about it called The Marriage Ref. (On the show, a panel of judges listens to a couple's argument, then votes for the husband or wife as being right, followed by a final ruling by the ref.) Apparently having a built-in referee is what marriages have been missing!
While the concept of the show...
When I was married and looking for solutions to relationship issues, I thought I could see the various possibilities that existed. After the marriage ended, new exploration in relationship dynamics turned up areas I had been totally clueless about...even though I cared a lot and was a smart, well-educated person. How was this possible?
Imagine a pie chart with three sections: What You Know, What You Don't Know (and you know you don't know it), and What You Don't Know...
Rate yourself in a particular personal relationship, on a scale of 1 – 10
1. Knowing what I want
2. Advocating for my interests
3. Listening actively
4. Expressing myself clearly
5. Being willing and able to show my imperfections, fears, and disappointments
6. Opening to the influence of the other...